Wednesday, November 19, 2008

#7 A Great New Holiday!


I declare March 20th is forever more act like an animal day! Celebrating the end to the harsh winter in some climates and even hotter weather in others, acting like an animal would be a great season transition! As spring begins animals start to come out into the open to find mates and explore new surroundings. By acting and dressing like an animal we can celebrate the animals returning by acting like whatever animal we please. Gearing up for act like an animal day is very simple. The only thing you need to do in preparation is buy some kind of animal outfit or accessory. On act like an animal day you must make some attempt to dress like an animal whether it is simply wearing a pair of ears or a tail. A few other traditions include: eating without silverware, crawling around and talking in animal noises. Decorating the house is also tradition. Many people set our feeders for the different animals that live in their yard, another thing people do is hang up posters and decorations celebrating their favorite animals. The true meaning of act like an animal day is to let loose and have fun after being cooped up all winter long. Act like an animal day is like the light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, because by the time the spring rolls around most people are just dying for it to finally be summer. By celebrating act like an animal day it shows what is to come in the future, which of course is loads of summer fun!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

#6 Stop Chewing Like a Cow!


Chewing and Chomping as loud as you possibly can is now illegal. Chomping is annoying, disgusting and extremely rude. It is an annoyance and a distraction to everyone around you because when you chomp your food people can’t even hear themselves think. By Chewing as loudly as you can you are disturbing the peace for no good reason but to annoy everyone standing within a few feet of you. Chomping on your food is very disgusting because not only do people not want to have to see all the things you have just shoved in your fat mouth they don’t want to have to listen to it to . Because it is such a disgusting thing to watch and hear that also makes it very impolite. Polite people do not go out of their way to make people want to strangle them. Loud chompers are to be put in classes to reduce their chomping noise level and learn to eat in a quiet and polite manner. Those loud chompers who refuse to attend the chomp noise reduction class will be sentenced to be chained to a dungeon wall and not given any food to chop on until they decided to take the class and change their chomping habits. If those chompers who have attended the class refuse to follow by the class rules will no longer be allowed to eat food ever again, they will only be served things they have to drink.